Archive for slacker tips
Slacker Tip #212 – Avoid Jobs Dealing With The Public
When you have a bad customer service type experience the first thing you probably wanna do is let someone know about it. Probably the manager. Think about that for a minute. Most people are like that. This means that if you want to get paid to be a slacker then you need to avoid jobs [...]
Slacker Tip #211 – Pretend you have the plague, or something contagious
As a professional slacker, I know that keeping people away from your desk during the day is vital to success. How can you get paid to do nothing if people catch you? You can’t because you will probably get fired. The fact is that you have to keep people away from your desk. You have [...]
Slacker Tip #210 – Sabotage the office equipment
If your job relies heavily on printing things all day long then it would make you job impossible if, say, the printer was broken all day. Right? Then that would pretty much give you an excuse to be a slacker all day. Right? If you have a job that relies on a piece of equipment [...]
Slacker Tip #209 – Be extra nice to everyone at work
If you are like me, you spend a lot of time at work thinking about what big idiots all the people that you work with are. I mean, they actually work hard, like all day – on purpose! And they worry about silly things like doing a good job. These so-called idiots can also be [...]
Slacker Tip #208 – Get Past Your Company’s Firewall
When it comes to work-related mischief, nothing is more aggravating than trying to surf the ‘net on company time only to realize that the security settings on your computer prevent you from pulling up half of the sites where you want to waste time. Except for maybe going to a proxy server to get around [...]
Slacker Tip #207 – Send a co-worker flowers. Anonymously.
In my experience the busy body co-worker that is always trying to catch you slacking off is female. I’ve had loads of jobs and that’s just the truth. Every single time someone has been out to get me fired for “not being a team player” or “not pulling my weight for the team” it has [...]
