Slacker Tips #219: Create Your Own Fake Office Kid To Get Outta Work
Okay people, creating your own fake kid so that you can get out of work easier is super easy and super free. You may recall my invent a kid for work project from a few years ago. It was an awesome success. And that experience allows me to give you some awesome tips on creating your own fake kid.
1. Get some pictures. If you have any nieces of nephews, you can use their pics. Otherwise, take your happy ass over to Flickr and steal a pic of someone else’s kid. They’ll never know. Print it out on some nice photo paper. Or even better – make it the desktop wallpaper on your computer!
2. Artwork is only need if your fake kid is age 8 or under. Seriously. Now, the people that are selling the fake kid kits have said in interviews that they draw the artwork with their left hands. You can do the same.
3. Do a really bad craft and bring it work to put on your desk – say your kid made it for you. This is really good for the holidays.
4. Be prepared to answer lots of questions about the kid. Things like where the kid goes to school, who babysits the kid and how much you pay for that, when the school holiday period is over, etc. For me, I chose to act like I was separated from the other parent and used a lot of answers that you can use such as, “I dunno, his dad pays for that” or “Not sure, his mom took him to it.”
Kid-related things that get you out of work:
- Holiday parties, i.e. “I have to make cupcakes and take them to little Jonny’s St. Patricks Day party”
- School talent shows
- Parent teacher conferences in the afternoon
- School open house in the afternoon
- Sports game
- School holiday program where little Amy is singing
- Sick kid
- Kid got in a fight and is suspended and you need to pickup little trouble-ass now
- anything else kid-related you can think of
Enjoy your fake kid – the one that you created for free.
You’re welcome.
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