Archive for Archive for February, 2008
Slacker tip #146 - enter with the stealth of a ninja
An important part of being able to get away with nothing involves having the stealth of a ninja.
You should never use the main entrance to your office if you can help it. If you can enter via a back stairwell you should always go for that option.
Why?
Because people are lazy wankers and they will not [...]
Slacker tip #145 - making your own fake paycheck stubs
A recent comment from a reader asked for help making your own fake paycheck stubs.
Apparently some douche bag is selling software out there to do this.
People - don’t be a fucktard and buy software to make paycheck stubs. Making your own paycheck stubs has to be the easiest thing in the world. All you need [...]
Slacker tip #144 - don’t be on TV when you are supposed to be at work
You may remember from my last tip (Slacker tip #143 - manipulate your email timestamp) that I was leaving work early on Thursday.
Well, the reason that I was sneaking out of work early was to go to a Hillary Clinton rally. And guess what, there were news crews there. And guess who ended up in [...]
Slacker tip #143 - manipulate your email timestamp
After getting to work today I have decided that I want to leave early. Now, I know that my boss will not allow that. That means I have to get creative.
So, here’s what I’m doing.
I’m sneaking out down the stairwell at 1:45pm. It won’t really be sneaking cause if she sees or hears me she’ll [...]
Being sick excuse #37 - pink eye
Pink eye is an easy way to get out of work if you are looking for good sick excuses. You might think that only kids get pink eye, but that’s not true. Sure, it’s more common among the kiddies, but you can still get it as an adult.
The best thing about using pink eye as [...]
Slacker tip #142 - snow day!
As a kid I used to love waking up to hear the news that there was a snow day!
Sadly as adults we do not get snow days. That’s why I like to just take them anyways. This is especially easy if you live in the South. Why? Because just the mention of snow sends them [...]
Slacker tip #141 - go on leap year strike
So here is what I am thinking - I don’t want to work on Feb. 29th and I think I know how to get out of it.
Here are my ideas.
One - I could just not show up and when I get a call or get confronted upon returning to work I can respond “What are [...]
Slacker tip #140 - read the job ads each week
As a slacker you probably already know that once an employer figures out that they are paying you to do nothing that you will be on your way out before you know it. But there is a way to stay a step ahead of the game here.
You see, sometimes when an employer discovers that they [...]
Still a slacker, Still not fired, Still getting paid to do nothing
If you recall, it was about 3 weeks ago that I thought my slacker ways were going to get me fired. Again. As luck would have it I am still employed and making an obscene amount of money to do nothing. You see, three weeks ago when I thought I was getting fired I went [...]
