Do you think I’m about to be fired?
As the complete slacker that I am I have gotten pretty good about knowing when I am about to be fired. Typically all bosses at companies of all shapes and sizes act in the same manner before it is about to go down. That’s why I thought I was getting fired last Friday.
You see, in my experience, the day that is to be your last day as a temp at your job the boss always acts the same.
1. She or he walks around with a scowl the entire day. I have decided that this must be because he or she is mad because you are getting paid for the day when you should be gone already. And since I usually get fired for internet usage the scowl is likely because they know that I am getting paid to play.
2. She or he avoids you like the plague. This one is extremely obvious if you have a boss that regularly stops by your desk all throughout the day. In my experience the boss does not say a single word to you on the last day.
3. The lackeys of the boss start treating you like the popular kids did in high school. You know, walking by and sneering and just casting general dirty looks in your direction. The lackeys are the people that socialize with the boss on purpose.
So, last Friday all of these things happened. So I drove home and eagerly awaited my 5:30pm phone call telling me there was no need to return to work on Monday. (They always call around 5:30pm, I guess to make sure you are gone from work for the day.) The phone did ring at 5:30pm but it wasn’t the call I was hoping for. That was kind of upsetting since I’d already planned my week of no employment.
Two days ago I caught my boss sneaking a peak at the job ads from the newspaper. You see, about two weeks ago my job was posted in the paper. So, I suspect she was looking at that ad and thinking about how she wanted to get rid of me.
Then yesterday was a repeat of Friday. No one said a word to me. My boss makes a point of coming by my desk as often as possible. Yesterday she didn’t even come close to my desk, which was a good thing as she has the ole skanky breath going on at all times. Seriously, it smells like she drinks fish oil all day long. (insert dry heave here)
And the totally obvious clue came today. At around 11am she came to my desk with her skankass fish breath. She wanted to know if I could finish the remaining 12 account reconciliations by the end of the day. Then she actually said to me “I see no reason why you can’t finish them all by the end of the day.†My immediate thought was “I can think of at least 20 reasons.†But I just sat there. Then she tells me not to take the laptop home with me today.
So, let’s review.
- My job was posted in the paper two weeks ago.
- My boss wants me to complete all outstanding work by the end of the day.
- And I am not allowed to bring my laptop home with me today even though I have always been able to.
So, do you think I am getting fired? Should I start planning a week of freedom?
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