Archive for Archive for January, 2008
I must be losing my touch
I really expected to get that 5:30pm call. It never came. Again I had planned my new freedom schedule. Yet it does not appear that I will be free.
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Of course, I think I remember reading somewhere that Thursdays are supposed to be the best day to fire employees. So maybe I will get that freedom [...]
Do you think I’m about to be fired?
As the complete slacker that I am I have gotten pretty good about knowing when I am about to be fired. Typically all bosses at companies of all shapes and sizes act in the same manner before it is about to go down. That’s why I thought I was getting fired last Friday.
You see, in [...]
Slacker tip #137 - volunteer to work overtime when no one else wants to
I hate working. I hate working overtime. But me loves me some overtime pay! Those paychecks are the sweetest. And they are even sweeter when you know you didn’t even do 5 hours worth of work that week, let alone more than 40 hours worth of work!
If you have a job where there is an [...]
Slacker tip #136 - always be prepared to slack
A good slacker is always prepared to be doing something other that what they are supposed to be doing.
I try to carry a little steno pad and a pen with me everywhere that I go. This means that I can be a slacker doodling in my notebook in no time flat. This means always go [...]
Slacker tip #135 - act like a spy
Part of being a good slacker and getting away with doing nothing is being like a spy.
You have to know where people are at all times that could bust you. You need to learn to tell who is approaching by the sound they make when they walk. For instance, at my last job the nosiest [...]
Slacker tip #134 - post-its are your friends
Sometimes you get a job with no internet access. That sucks ass.
I say that is time to find a new job! But sometimes it’s not that easy so you have to stay put for longer than you would like.
So with no internet how do you get paid to do nothing?
If you’ve got post-it notes at [...]
Being sick excuse #36 - granny is in the hospital
Let’s face it - all bosses have a soft spot for grannies. That makes grannies the equivalent of the golden ticket in the Willy Wonka chocolate bar.
So, use that freaking gold ticket already!
No matter how much of a bitch your boss is (like mine) I guarantee that when you utter the words:
granny - sick - [...]
Work thoughts from a fellow slacker
Sometimes I look for funny thoughts on work by fellow slackers.
Today, I have found one. The post is titled “Do you ever want to do this?” over at Random Riley.
And if you have ever been made to do a menial task you will appreciate this. And if you get a lot of paper cuts [...]
Things overheard at work
Do you ever sit in your cubicle and hear other people’s conversations and think to yourself “I work with idiots!”
Yeah, me too friend.
Here are some of the things I overheard in my office recently:
“Well, you know I have those two luxury cars…” (my thoughts: what a pompous assclown)
“Yeah, it’s good for pregnant women to walk [...]
