Being sick excuse #33 - whooping cough
I know what you’re thinking. No one fucking gets whooping cough these days. Isn’t it some type of medieval disease? Yes, I thought so. Until I started reading the damn news. Apparently there is some kind of crazy outbreak of whooping cough in places like Bumfuck, Ohio.
So, check it out and see if it is going around in your area, because the time off that you bank for this one is 5 days!
Here’s a little info on whooping cough…
These days, adults are primarily the people that get it.
It starts out with a sore throat and a fever. That evolves into a normal dry cough. That comes and goes for 7 - 10 days. After about 2 weeks that cough gets longer and sounds more like a “whoop.” Note: random bouts of coughing are going on by this point.
Note: the fever is only present the first week. You could also have a runny nose the first week.
Starting at 2 weeks and on: Attacks of a choking cough that lasts from 1 to 2 minutes, often with vomiting, severe facial congestions and a feeling or appearance of suffocation. Between these attacks of coughing the sufferer appears and usually feels perfectly well.These choking attacks of coughing happen as little as twice a day or as many as fifty. Between attacks (’paroxysms’ is the technical name) the sufferer may not cough at all.’Whooping’ is a noise that comes from the voice box after a paroxysm when the sufferer is suddenly able to take a breath in again. (info from whoopingcough.net)
Note: only half of people have the “whoop” sound when they cough - so no need to try to fake it
It lasts 3 weeks but can go on as long as 3 months! The average person has it for 7 weeks.
What makes it easy to diagnosis are the moments of no coughing at all.
It is treated with an antibiotic for 7-14 days. Guess how long you get to miss work? Minimum of 5 days!
Just remember you will likely need a “doctors note” when you return to work.
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