Being sick excuse #10 – my battery is dead
Sometimes you don’t even need to miss an entire day of work. Maybe you were out on a bender last night and just cannot go into work until lunch time. Or maybe Hannah Montana tickets go on sale at 10 am so you want to be sitting at your computer counting down the seconds so you can get good seats. Or maybe you’re just a lazy bastard that wants to sleep in. I get that. Really, I do.
An easy way to get to come in late is to call in and say “My car won’t start. I think the battery is dead. I’ve called AAA, so as soon as they get here I will be in.”
- Excuse – car won’t start, battery is dead
- Timing – you should make the call to work at about the time you would be leaving home. Remember, you would discover this only when you are ready to leave.
- Dialogue – “My car won’t start. I think the battery is dead. I’ve called AAA, so as soon as they get here I will be in.”
- Frequency – You could probably get away with this one several times until you “get a new battery.” The key here is to play it by ear to see when people start getting annoyed.
- Limitations – this can only be used to go in late. And it would never work if you have a brand new car.
You may be thinking – well, how late can I go in? Pretty late. Luckily for you I actually used to work in a call center for AAA. (One of my many jobs) And as someone that has both had AAA and worked in their call centers in two different states, they are the slowest people around. Especially if you live in Atlanta or Florida. It could literally take hours for them to get to your stranded ass on the side of the road. So, as a rule of thumb I would say that if you are in a large city then you can take longer than someone that lives in East Bumblefuck. And if it is rush hour and traffic is horrible where you are then add on another hour or two. Anyone that has ever used AAA can tell you how slow they are.
For bonus points, ask someone to come out with you to your car when you get ready to leave for the day “in case it doesn’t want to start again” so that they can give you a boost. As a result this will boost your credibility. Ah, people are so gullible.
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