Slacker tip #57 - signs you’re getting fired

Posted by: the complete slacker on Wednesday, August 22nd, 2007

As you may remember I was on a quest to get ‘let go’ at my temp job so that I can stay at home and get unemployment. The quest came to a close last Thursday as I got the usual temp agency 5:30 pm ‘don’t go back to work’ call. It always happens the same way with temp agencies. They never give you any warning which is why I never leave anything at work when I’m on an assignment.

Here’s how it usually works: You go to work, no one gives any sign (usually) that they do not plan on seeing you any more, you get home and depending on how long your commute is you either have a message waiting on your machine or you are already home when you get the call. It almost always comes around 5:30 pm. Usually they tell you that the company you were on assignment at no longer needs your services and you are not to go back there under any circumstances. Then they ask you if you have left any personal items there and then they tell you that they will pick up your items and you should not go there for them. Let me tell you this though - they never bring you your personal items. It only took two times of losing some stuff for me to learn that lesson!

Now, most of the time if you have a badge or key card they will tell you that you cannot get your last paycheck until you bring it to the staffing agency office. Lame. I have one for this job but they didn’t tell me that and my timesheet was already approved. Booyah.

Since I knew that I was trying my damnedest to get fired, I was well aware on Thursday that it would be my last day. In fact, I started dancing with glee when my phone rang at 5:27 pm because I already knew what the call was.

Here is how Thursday went down -

My boss avoided my like the plague and had an angry scowl on her face all day long. The scowl was not something she usually wore to work.
When I asked my boss a question about something I was working on I got a snippy rude remark. Bingo! I thought.
My co-workers and my boss went to lunch together and no one told me.
I was supposed to have a 11:00 am meeting with an HR person regarding transitioning to another staffing agency. The meeting was set up on Wednesday but at 9:00 am the person I had the appointment with canceled and rescheduled for Friday. (note that this person called me around 10am Thursday to confirm our meeting for Friday)
As of Wednesday my boss’ schedule on her Outlook calendar was empty for the week. On Thursday morning she had put in a 1:00 pm interview with a temp. Hrm, coincidence that my meeting was canceled and a new temp was being interviewed? Score!
Before lunch I got a visit from an IT guy who had just come from the office of the boss of my boss. He was the worst liar ever! He told me that he needed to check some settings on my computer because the guy that had set mine up (6 months ago when I was hired) had done things incorrectly. Of course I had several internet explorer windows open when he came over.
The idiot IT guy proceeded to let me watch everything he did, because he apparently thought I was an idiot that had no clue what he was doing. First, he right-clicked on My Computer, went to Properties, and then the Remote tab. On that tab he put a check mark in the ‘allow remote access’ box. The he went to my internet settings to make it where I could not connect. And then he went to a command prompt and typed in ‘ipconfig all’ which not only gave him my IP address but the physical location address of the computer. This of course was so that they could run a report on the system to see what I had been up to.
As soon as he left I disabled the remote access and made it so I could connect to the internet again.
Since my boss was gone to lunch with load of peeps I decided to take an almost 2 hour lunch. I got back just in time to get a look at the person being interviewed. She was so pregnant I’m surprised she didn’t have the baby right in the middle of the interview.
No one said a word to me the rest of the day. I did my usual and left a little before 4:00 pm just because I wanted to. Oh, and I cleaned out my desk first. And I put my finished work in the same pile as non-finished - now they won’t know what has been done and what hasn’t. Oops.

So, of course, I get my ‘don’t go back to work’ call at around 5:30 pm and my recruiter tells me that they sent her some shocking documentation of how I have done nothing but be on the internet and have been a constant problem. My response? “That’s funny because until this morning they were still wanting me to meet with the other agency to transition over.” Her response? “That is strange.” Complete Slacker strikes again!

You want to know the best part? I have been with this staffing agency just two weeks shy of one year. This was not the first assignment I have done for them where I have done nothing but play on the internet. In fact, I have done nothing for almost an entire year and gotten paid for it!

Wanna know something else funny? They have set me up with another interview for a new job!

If you are working in an office I suggest you look and see if remote access is enabled on your computer.