Slacker tip #51 - sabatoge the office in 3 steps
If you work in an office like mine, of the things standing between you and the art of getting paid to do nothing is some busybody that likes to bring you things to do. Shame on them!
Ever notice though that when they are busy that you don’t get busy work to do?
Yes, that’s right, you need to keep them busy. Here’s my 3-step plan:
Step 1 - Get to work early, before anyone else in your department does.
Step 2 - Pick a few people’s desks to sabatoge, specifically the people that bring you busy work or special projects.
Step 3 - Pick your poison.
Here’s some ideas of things to do. Unplug their phone if that is one of the ways you end up with extra work. Or just do it to keep them occupied for a while when they are trying to figure out what is up. Unplug their mouse from their computer. Unplug their keyboard. Take one of those tiny post-it notes and put it over the roller ball of their mouse, or the little light if it’s one of the ones without a roller ball. When they move their mouse, nothing will happen! First they will probably check the connection. Who knows how long it will take them to pick up the mouse and lool at it! Unplug their monitor. Turn off their powerstrip. Turn down the volume on their phone. Re-arrange their desk. Put a CD in their CD-ROM drive so that when they turn on their computer it will boot whatever is on the CD. They will be so confused. Unplug the printer or copier or fax machine. Adjust the settings on their monitor so that the screen stays black. Hide all the coffee - they may be too tired to give you work that way! Or you could dissolve some Tylenol PM in the coffee.
When I say ‘unplug’ above I mean do this where it is not noticeable. Maybe jiggle it just enough that it’s not plugged in but it sure looks plugged in. This way when they look they will think that it is plugged in.
3 Responses to “Slacker tip #51 - sabatoge the office in 3 steps”
July 19th, 2007 at 5:26 pm
I hope you’re not seriously suggesting any of this.
Going near their desks can easily be seen by the security cameras, or by someone walking in. That’s not to say that some of it isn’t funny.
Slipping them Tylonol PM would result in prosecution, of course.
It’d be much easier to quit.
July 22nd, 2007 at 8:34 pm
This site is purely for entertainment purposes.
Of course, that doesn’t stop all the prats out there from being stupid.
July 26th, 2007 at 2:53 am
Jeez, wet blanket alert, comment #1.
I like to annoy my co-workers with computer-based things:
- Take a screen shot of their desktop, set it as their wallpaper, and then delete all the icons off the desktop.
- Unplug any fans from their computer so that it over-heats and freezes all the time. Or dies completely. It’s not your computer, anyway.
- Sticky tape over an optical mouse can work nicely to - it will make it erratic and won’t be as immediately noticable if they do flip it over to check.
- Even use some of that sticky tape on the mouth peice of their phone so the people that they call can’t hear them. That’s hella funny.
- Steal a vowel from their keyboard.
Love the site!
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