Temp jobs and getting unemployment
As you all know (and if you don’t well, go back to special ed.) getting unemployment is the most rewarding way to get paid to do nothing. You get to sleep in, stay in your pj’s all day, watch porn if you want, play video games, whatever….and you get paid weekly. Sure, it’s not the full amount you were getting while you were employed but the benefits far out weigh the shrinkage in funds. Besides, how much money do you really need to sleep in and wear your pj’s all day? I’ll give you that the porn can be expensive, but I bet you already have a stash you never get tired of. And there is always YouTube or Limewire for some new goodies.
The tricky thing about unemployment benefits is that you can’t qualify for unemployment payments if you get fired. You have to qualify for reasons like your job was made redundant, you were laid off, etc. This throws a definite wrench in the whole get-fired-on-purpose-to-get-unemployment plan. But there is a way around this. It’s called a staffing agency or temp agency.
When you are placed in a job through a staffing agency and the place you are working decides they don’t want you, the staffing agency tells you that the temp job has ended, or they have decided they are going to eliminate that position, etc. and that you do not need to return to the place of said temp job. Once I even got the line that funding ran out due to budget cuts so the project was ended early. Anyways, technically the staffing agency did not fire you, the place where they had placed you did. That means it’s up to the staffing agency to get your ass in another temp job. If not, you qualify for unemployment my friend.
Currently I am working in a temp job that I desire to get fired from so that I can collect me some unemployment checks. So, with that in mind, I will be trying my hardest to get fired as soon as possible. This new series “Temp jobs and getting unemployment” will chronicle ideas I have for getting fired from this temp job. I am thinking that it needs to be some sort of 12 step program, you know, like the ones for alcoholics on this would be for slackers looking to get fired from temp jobs to collect unemployment.
You might be thinking, “Oh please, that would never work. You could never get unemployment simply because the staffing agency isn’t technically the one that fired you.” You’d be wrong. I’ve done it before. More than once.
Or maybe you’re thinking, “Yeah, but the staffing agency will send you out on other interviews to try to place you somewhere so that they don’t have to pay unemployment.” Yes, they most likely will but you can sabatoge the interview doofus.
The way I see it, I won’t get to see any of the social security benefits I’m paying in, so this I my little way of taking a little back now.
Stay tuned, and wish me luck in my pursuit of getting unemployment.
Leave a Comment