Slacker tip #50 - turn 15 minute breaks into infinity, well, sorta

Posted by: the complete slacker on Monday, July 16th, 2007

If there is one thing I am thankful for at work it is those too-damn-short 15 minute breaks in the morning and afternoon. But I curse the bastard that said we should only get two of those a day. That’s not nearly enough. That’s why I like to take breaks more than I actually work.

To get away with this you need to know at what time your co-workers and boss typically take their breaks. All of them. Morning, lunch and afternoon. Then you need to strategically place your “official” break when they are mostly at their desk and have an unofficial break when they are away. This way you can get an uber long break or even multiple breaks.

Don’t like that idea? How about this one - take a lot of mini breaks and your “official” break. Say you take around 5 minutes to go and from the bathroom. That means that you can take 5 minute mini breaks all day long and blame it on a bladder infection. No, seriously. No one wants to hear about your pee pee issues. Or even worse, tell them you had some bad mexican last night. That’s where they will stop the conversation. They’ll never ask you again.

Just this morning I ended up taking around 2 hours for my morning break using a combination of the above techniques. It was a nice day outside so I used my mini breaks to enjoy some fresh air while all the other suckas were slaving away. Muah hahaha. Idiots.

I employ the same techniques for extending my lunch break a lot of days too.

Topics: slacker tips

One Response to “Slacker tip #50 - turn 15 minute breaks into infinity, well, sorta”

name Says:
July 16th, 2007 at 8:59 pm

Looking pale and ghastly helps. Have an Oscar winning “I just puked” face, and you’ll reep concern while enjoying… nothing.

In fact, I’ve been known to sit on the toilet for an hour. Sometimes I bring my personal laptop and do WORK on the toilet. Or, create a to-do list. Or, write. Or, fuck off. It’s at least relatively quiet in there…. once you get used to the, uh, smell.

 

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