Archive for Archive for June, 2007
Slacker tip #41 – Get a job with flex time
When I go into a job interview and the interviewer tells that they have flex time, I want to hump their legs right there in the middle of the interview. Flex time is a godsend for us slackers. I have been fortunate enough for my last 3 jobs to have had flextime scheduling and I [...]
Being sick excuse #9 – food poisoning
Excuse – Food poisoning Symptoms – Typical symptoms include nausea, vomiting, abdominal cramping, and diarrhea that come on suddenly (within 48 hours) of consuming a contaminated food or drink. Depending on the contaminant, fever and chills, bloody stools, dehydration, and nervous system damage may follow. Limitations –The symptoms can develop rapidly, within 30 minutes, or [...]
Slacker tip #40 – fool them by applying for a promotion
As an accomplished slacker, I know that the key to being successful at getting paid to do nothing is to show people what they want to see. An easy way to do this is to appy for open positions at work that would be a promotion for you. You might be thinking “No way, that [...]
Slacker tip #39 – yet another way to access blocked sites at work
Just last week I had to attend a department meeting about employees abusing the internet. Guilty as charged. Apparently, office computers are only to be used for office related things. Bah! Pish posh to that. While I would like to march across the street and heckle the lowlife IT guys that tattle on everyone that [...]
Let ‘em know how you really feel
There’s a presidential candidate debate on television tonight. It’s time to give a voice to the important issues. Join us in the quest to legalize the 4-day weekend! Get your Complete Slacker gear. You gotta have something to carry all those fake doctor’s notes around in!
