Slacker tip #44 - Know what your boss drives
If you have employed the previous tip and are making sure you have the latest schedule at work, then you need to know how to get away with leaving early.
Know what the boss drives.
It is a must that you find out what your boss drives as soon as possible. Why? Imagine this. Your boss leaves for the day, leaving you the only person left in the office. You give her 15 minutes and then you pack up your stuff and leave. You get downstairs and there she is in the parking lot talking to someone. You freeze. You want to duck back into the stairwell, but she’s already seen you. Bye-bye overtime for today.
I know what my boss drives and where she likes to park. When she announces she’s leaving, I don’t pack up until I see her crappy little Hyundai leave the lot. And just to be safe, I give her a few extra minutes in case she forgot something and comes back, or worse – so I don’t pull up at a stop light beside her!
If you have tattle-tale co-workers, then it doesn’t hurt to know what they drive as well. Being a successful slacker is all about research. That and covering your ass.
3 Responses to “Slacker tip #44 - Know what your boss drives”
July 5th, 2007 at 10:23 pm
Excellent tip.
I learned the hard way a few times.
Case and point: last week I was late to work, hauling ass in the parking lot. Some old dude with a cane was standing near a car. I assumed he was getting shit out of his car, so I kept driving to the parking place.
Yeah, no, the old dude was apparently waiting for me to pass when I was driving. Who was this man, you ask? One of the many assistant vice presidents. Fortunately, my car is pimped out with gansta tinted windows… so hopefully the dude didn’t know it was me.
Second example: I’m in an ass load of traffic a few months ago. Some twit behind me is driving quite close. I almost go ape shit, then realize that it’s one of our vice presidents. The entire time, I’m like, FUCK, don’t let the dude recognize me.
I’ve made it a point to know what everyone drives. That way, when I honk at dumb fucks in traffic, I can try to avoid honking at them. Or, try to avoid running them over while hauling ass to my parking space.
I take it a few steps further and do a casual “walk by” their office to see if their lights are still on. Then, I check the clock to make sure it’s past their usual early-as-fuck departure time. If everyone else is gone, I’m out.
July 6th, 2007 at 8:19 am
Ah yes, I have come up behind the boss on the freeway as well.
Does your work use an instant messaging service for employees? They do at my work, which allows me to easily tell if people are still in the office. Of course, this is dependent upon people actually being signed into that.
July 8th, 2007 at 1:47 am
Nice. We don’t officially use any IM programs. I’ve seen a few minions do it, but none of the bosses.
At my previous job, we’d rarely actually talk to each other face to face. We’d IM each other across the room or in our offices. It rocked!
Leave a Comment