Archive for Archive for June, 2007
New products, get ‘em now
Let everyone know you’re easy.
Easy like Sunday morning, that is.
Easy like Sunday morning every day of the week.
Slacker tip #46 - Suggest new projects…for others
Sometimes the only thing standing between you doing nothing at work and getting away with it is a nosy co-worker. They can be a real pain in the ass. But there is a way to throw them off your scent and end up looking like a real go-getter in the eyes of your boss.
If you […]
Slacker tip #45 - Volunteer to be the department party planner
If you work in an office, then chances are pretty good that you have a lot of celebrations as your co-workers look for any excuse to have a party. If you don’t have this in your office, or even if you do, volunteer to be the office party planner.
By being the office party planner, you […]
Slacker tip #44 - Know what your boss drives
If you have employed the previous tip and are making sure you have the latest schedule at work, then you need to know how to get away with leaving early.
Know what the boss drives.
It is a must that you find out what your boss drives as soon as possible. Why? Imagine this. Your boss leaves […]
Slacker tip #43 - how to contribute the bare minumum to the office potluck
Tomorrow I have an office potluck where I am expected to bring a food item of some sort. I don’t want to spend a lot of money on it and I don’t want to devote a lot of time to making something.
So, in true slacker form, I have the cheapest and easiest option there is, […]
Slacker tip #42 - Tips on calling in sick when you’re really out of town
I don’t like to ask for days off, and take the chance that the boss would tell me ‘no’ because then I’d have to quit because there is no way I’m changing my plans just because a job wants to play authority figure with me. So, when I’m out of town, I’m usually calling […]
Slacker tip #41 - Get a job with flex time
When I go into a job interview and the interviewer tells that they have flex time, I want to hump their legs right there in the middle of the interview. Flex time is a godsend for us slackers. I have been fortunate enough for my last 3 jobs to have had flextime scheduling and I […]
Being sick excuse #9 - food poisoning
Excuse – Food poisoning
Symptoms - Typical symptoms include nausea, vomiting, abdominal cramping, and diarrhea that come on suddenly (within 48 hours) of consuming a contaminated food or drink. Depending on the contaminant, fever and chills, bloody stools, dehydration, and nervous system damage may follow.
Limitations –The symptoms can develop rapidly, within 30 minutes, or slowly, worsening […]
Slacker tip #40 - fool them by applying for a promotion
As an accomplished slacker, I know that the key to being successful at getting paid to do nothing is to show people what they want to see. An easy way to do this is to appy for open positions at work that would be a promotion for you. You might be thinking “No way, that […]
Slacker tip #39 - yet another way to access blocked sites at work
Just last week I had to attend a department meeting about employees abusing the internet. Guilty as charged. Apparently, office computers are only to be used for office related things. Bah! Pish posh to that.
While I would like to march across the street and heckle the lowlife IT guys that tattle on everyone that uses […]
