TMI conversations overheard at work #1

Posted by: the complete slacker on Tuesday, April 3rd, 2007

I have worked a lot of different offices. And they all have one thing in common.

People having conversations outloud that they shouldn’t.

In fact, I just overheard one was WAY too much information! Let me set the scene for you.

Yesterday afternoon before I left for the day, the girl that sits beside me (we’ll call her Stupid Girl) was having a conversation with a friend here at work about her addiction to tanning beds. Today’s conversation is a continuation of this.

SCENE ONE - CRAPPY OFFICE
As we fade in, STUPID GIRL is sitting at her desk singing along to some particularly annoying country music. STUPID GIRL’S FRIEND enters from stage right. STUPID GIRL turns around excitedly extending her left arm into the air.

STUPID GIRL
I’m getting dark! But it’s starting to itch my boobs.

STUPID GIRL’s FRIEND ignores last sentence, almost as if she did not hear it.

STUPID GIRL’S FRIEND
Did you go tanning at lunch?

STUPID GIRL
No,last night and my boobs are itching like crazy. And my bra is driving me crazy.

STUPID GIRL’S FRIEND
Well, you could try not wearing one.

STUPID GIRL
I’m serious, this bra is rubbing them raw. They itch so bad and I try to rub them when no one is looking. Aren’t your boobs itching?

STUPID GIRL’S FRIEND
Uh, no. I guess I never get burned there.

STUPID GIRL
Lucky! Man, they’re itching right now. It’s driving me crazy.

STUPID GIRL’S FRIEND
Use Aloe.

STUPID GIRL
I used vaseline. It’s cool and soothing. I do it like 4 times a day.

STUPID GIRL’S FRIEND
Do you go to the bathroom?

STUPID GIRL
What?

STUPID GIRL’S FRIEND
Do you…you DO go to the bathroom right?

STUPID GIRL
For what?

STUPID GIRL’S FRIEND
Do you go to the bathroom to put it on?

STUPID GIRL
I bend down by my keyboard and rub it on when no one is looking.

STUPID GIRL’S FRIEND stares at her for a moment in confusion and disbelief.

STUPID GIRL’S FRIEND
I have to go back to my desk now.

STUPID GIRL’s FRIEND exits stage left and STUPID GIRL goes back to rubbing her boobs by her keyboard.

And yes, that is a real coversation that took place in the cube that is joined to mine. Send us your TMI conversations that you overheard at work to completeslacker (at) gmail (dot) com

Topics: TMI conversations at work