Slacker must-have #1 – the Fake Doctor’s Note
If a slacker only has one thing in their arsenal it must be a fake doctor’s note.
Bosses are notorious for thinking they can catch you skipping work when you’re not really sick by telling you that you cannot return unless you have a doctor’s note. Apparently, they do not realize that you can make one yourself. Suckers.
I have attached the Word file that I have used successfully as a dr’s note. Now before you anxiously print this out and fill in all the blanks and give it to your boss, let me offer you some tips.
1. You boss could know about this site, so don’t use the exact same name for the doctor office, or doctors. I changed the file up a bit so that my bosses won’t recognize the one that I use as well.
2. The logo that is on it can also be changed. Just do a Google image search for doctor or medical logos and take your pick. That’s what I did.
3. Now, you’ll want to make sure you have a real address for the place and as real of a phone number as you can. The address part is simple. Just make sure you pick a place that is realistically close enough for you to go to as a patient, but far enough away from the office and where the boss lives that they won’t really know if the place exists or not. The phone number is a bit trickier. Now, some home phone companies offer you a free second phone number that rings to the same line as your primary number. This is by far the easiest method as it will go to a voicemail that doesn’t give a name or anything, so you’re gold. The other option is to log onto the website of the phone provider in your area and fill out the online form as if you are setting up new service. Now, most companies at the end of the process (before you click the final submit order button) will give you about 5 different available numbers for you to choose from. Pick one of those and use it. Chances are that your job will not call and if they do you can mention that they just moved so maybe they haven’t updated the number. Another possible option would be to look into a prepaid cell. If they have voicemail capabilities then that would work. Or you could always have a friend answer their home phone “dr so-and-so’s office” just in case.
4. It’s all about presentation. A doctor’s note is rarely 8.5 by 11 so you must trim it when you print it out. And you cannot do this with scissors or it won’t be even. You will need one of those nifty paper cutters. You can go to Kinko’s and use one for free or get a little cheap one at Staples. And make sure you print it out on nice paper. I usually use Kodak Bright White paper (110+ brightness) for my notes. It’s a good 24lb weight paper.
5. You do not have to fill out the part about how you need to be out for a certain number of days. Just filling out the top part saying you visited the dr. on X day will get you out of a day of work. And yes, I have had real doctors use a note just like this and only fill out the top. That is where I got the format for this from.
Good luck! And have some fun away from work for me.
9 Responses to “Slacker must-have #1 – the Fake Doctor’s Note”
June 7th, 2007 at 5:31 pm
Hey can you PLEASE email me that format that you used? Thank you very much : )
Sincerely,
Shay1204@sbcglobal.net
June 29th, 2007 at 10:49 am
i need a fake pregancy form
July 9th, 2007 at 11:51 am
i have food poisioning
July 13th, 2007 at 4:36 pm
my mom will kill me if i lost my job so pretty pretty please, if u could, send the format to me?
May 25th, 2009 at 9:37 am
I’m your boss…YOU ARE BUSTED!!!
GET BACK TO WORK YOU LAZY PIECE OF #@?*%!!!!
March 3rd, 2010 at 10:53 pm
my sister needs a doctors note. can you make her one?
June 25th, 2010 at 9:40 am
lol
September 21st, 2010 at 1:24 pm
oherikuhhh that’s a joke, right?
Cuz, i was gonna say, this dude laid it out for you. I realize laziness is our forte, but damn……
November 5th, 2010 at 1:28 pm
You’re expending more effort to skip work than it would require to just show up. Utterly retarded!
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