Slacker tip #8 - Maximum pay for minimal work, or How to get 2 lunches instead of 1 at work
Any decent slacker wants to earn a full day’s pay while doing far from a full day’s work. If you work in a call center or retail, then you’ll have a hard time making this dream a reality. But if you work in an office, then luck is on your side! An easy way to get maximum pay for minimal work is to take two lunches but only clock out for one.
If you’re like me, you work in an office where you can take you lunch at whatever time you want. Most of the people I work with take an hour lunch at 11:30 a.m. I, on the other hand, wait as long as I possibly can to take my lunch so that I will have less of the day left upon returning, which usually sees me taking lunch around 1:00 p.m. This is perfect as it usually leaves me as the only person in the department for approximately one hour each day.
So, when everyone (including the boss) takes their hour lunch from 11:30 – 12:30, I sit at my desk and take a break myself. After all, no one is around to tell me not to. Then, around 1:00ish, I officially clock out for my lunch. And I usually start my lunch about 15 minutes before the clock out and end it about 15 minutes after the clock in. At my present position I am able to take a little over an hour lunch while only clocking out for 30 minutes. So, technically I have over 2 hours for lunch/break. That means, in the 8.5 hours I spend at work less than 6 hours is actually spent “working” from just this lunch technique alone. That doesn’t even take into account all the other times I spend doing absolutely nothing productive.
This is easiest at a place where you do not literally clock in and out. If you have to keep some sort of timesheet, then this will be easily accomplished. However, if you have to clock in and out, it will take a little bit of work. Do you clock in and out on the computer at your desk or at a machine that is separate where multiple employees clock in and out? If you get to clock in and out at your desk, then it’s not too difficult as long as you remember to clock out and in so that it benefits you. Forgetting to clock out too many times will look suspicious – trust me, I’ve done it. If you cannot clock in and out at your desk it will be considerably trickier, however the whole ‘forgetting’ thing would work in your advantage in this scenario. They key here is to be seen by as few people as possible when you are clocking in or out. If too many people see you clock back in, you can lose those extra 15-20 minutes you were going to take as someone might come up to your desk since they saw you clock in.
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